Penulis: Ade Nova Puspita Sari
as A kid born with Strict dad; Who works at military, and from Javanese Family, I’ve been dealing with all type of thing.
My dad used to be an Army, considering his old age now he is retired. My dad was a tough-looking guy. He’s 5’9″, got a muscle, and thick mustache. I can guarantee you will get scared when you see him when you were kid. Although his look like he can beat you anytime he wants, my Bapak (Dad) always encourage me, his Daughter with his own way. There’s always a way that make me amazed to my Bapak.
When I was a kid, my parents, especially my Dad always let me choose anything that i want, in notes, my Bapak (Dad) will say this : “Nduk, apapun sing kamu pilih, Bapak bebasno tapi sing kudu mbok eling, resiko apapun kedepane kamu sing akan hadapi, soale hidup iku pilihan.”
(Dear, Whatever you will choose, Dad always let you choose it but you have to remember, risk that might happen, you’re gonna face it alone, cause life is a choice.)
As a kid i didn’t understand it much and just listening to what He said. One day, I’m running too fast while playing and fell off, I’m crying so loud and Bapak treat my wounds while saying “Tiboh toh, sopo seng milih mlayu kenceng-kenceng? Yo berarti kamu dewe sing milih buat resiko jatuh nganti luka, Nduk.”
(Look, now you fell, who choose to run so fast? You’re the one who choose the risk fell till you got hurt, Dear.)
I’m just listening what my Dad said.
After many years, I’m turning 18, For the first time of my life, I got rejected by my dream university. My world suddenly feel like they stopped. Feels like I’m running out of breath. I never stop hurting myself after i see that announcement. Yes, you right, i always cut myself, everyday.
Later a month; almost two month hurting myself, ate just once a day, never get out from my room, spending morning with sleeping and night with crying. I finally get up, talk to my parents that i want to do Gap Year; A year between leaving school and starting university that is usually spent for studying for the test.
This idea got rejected outright by my parents, especially my Mom. She sees to many ‘what if’ in this scenario.
‘What if my Daughter got rejected again?’
‘What if my Daughter spent another year and got nothing?’
‘What if at the end my Daughter choose to not studying at Uni because she feel hopeless being accepted?’
I assured my Mom, even though i feel hopeless too.
“Ibuk, percoyo mbek Adek.”
(Mom, trust me.)
Just that one sentence that come out from my mouth, I cannot speak anything again. I’m too exhausted.
My Dad knows very well that his Daughter is really tired. He just said:
‘Yowes Nduk, gak popo prei saktaun, sing penting sinau sing pinter, sing tenanan, Urip iku pilihan. Awakmu dewe sing ngerti opo sing terbaik nggo awakmu. Bapak percoyo awakmu.’
(Okay then Dear, it’s okay if you take a break for a year, but you have to study hard, and you have to mean it. Life is a choice. Only yourself knows whats best for you. Daddy trust you.)
Do you know what I feel after hearing to that? I feel I want to screaming so loud, hug both my parents, and thank them loudly. But I don’t do any of that, Once again, I’m too exhausted.
I’m just thank them quitely, in my deepest heart. For letting me and encourage me to choose what I want.
And now I’m here. Studying law in Top #10 University in Indonesia. Do well in my class, got a good grades, organization, and feeling so happy and blessed for all of my beloved friends, lecturer, and many more.
At the end of the day, My Bapak is right.
“Life is a choice, and any of the risk that might happen, you have to face it alone.”
Thank you, Bapak & Ibuk.
